3 Relationship Communication Tools That Actually Work
Navigating relationships—romantic, platonic, or even familial—can be tricky. Most of us were never taught how to do relationships—we’re just out here winging it with chaotic energy and childhood wounds. Thankfully, it doesn’t have to be so hard.
If you’re craving more connection, better communication, and deeper intimacy (without always having to talk about feelings for three hours straight), here are three easy, high-impact strategies to try this week. Bonus: they work for lovers, friends, roommates, and even siblings.
1. Head, Heart, Hand: The Relationship Check-In That Doesn’t Suck
Let’s be real. “How was your day?” gets boring really fast. Instead of always saying "fine" across the dinner table, try the Head, Heart, Hand check-in. It’s a simple framework that gets you and your partner actually talking—and maybe even laughing—about your week.
Here’s how it works:
Head: Something that’s been on your mind. New book? Wild podcast? Random Wikipedia rabbit hole? Spill the tea.
Heart: Something that made you feel something (other than existential dread). Cute dog sighting? Got a compliment? Celebrate that spark.
Hand: Something you did that brought joy—baking, building IKEA furniture without fighting, tried a making a new recipe, something that you did with your hands.
👉 Pro tip: Be specific. Details build intimacy, and your brain loves a vivid memory.
My example this week:
Head: I read this line in a book that made me snort-laugh. I’m still cackling.
Heart: Our cat did an Olympic-level parkour routine off my lap, the couch, the wall, and spun midair. I nearly cried laughing.
Hand: I made lasagna from scratch for the first time and didn’t set off the smoke alarm. #GoddessEnergy
2. HALT: Your Pre-Drama Relationship Detox
Ever snap at your partner because you were secretly just hangry (hungry and grumpy)? Or tried to solve a problem while running on 2 hours of sleep and coffee?
Enter: HALT—your new favorite acronym for avoiding unnecessary fights and miscommunications.
Before a convo with your boo (or your BFF or your mom), HALT and ask yourself:
Am I Hungry?
Am I Angry?
Am I Lonely?
Am I Tired?
If the answer is yes to any of the above, pause. Handle that first—eat a snack, take a breath, get a hug, or take a nap—and then come back to the conversation. It’s okay to say to someone, “I did an hour because I can talk about this, can we come back to it then?”.
HALT = Less drama, more connection. Trust me, your relationships (and your nervous system) will thank you.
3. The Gratitude Jar: Cute, Corny, and Surprisingly Sexy
Gratitude is magnetic. And no, I don’t mean the fake “I’m grateful for you” text before asking for a favour.
Start a Gratitude Jar with your partner:
Get a jar (bonus points for glitter or stickers).
Each week, write down one specific thing you’re grateful for from that week. It can be something you did together, something funny that happened, something your partner did for you. get specific and do a different one each time. For example, I loved that we stayed up all night laughing about our imaginary story.
Pop it in the jar.
Set a future date (your anniversary? New Year’s? Random Tuesday?) to read them together.
This practice helps you both notice the little joyful moments—and gives you a built-in future date night that’s full of warm fuzzies and inside jokes.
Make it sexy: Pair your reading night with a home-cooked meal, candles, or even a lil’ lingerie. Gratitude + seduction = chef’s kiss.
Relationships take work. These are some easy things that you can do to improve your relationship in a fun way.
TL;DR: Relationships Take Work... But They Should Also Be Fun
These aren’t just cutesy relationship hacks. They’re research-backed, connection-building, intimacy-deepening practices that help you feel seen, supported, and, yes, a little more turned on by your own life.
Whether you’re just dating, deep in a long-term relationship, or trying to not kill your roommate—these tools are here to help you show up with presence and power.
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You’re not too much. You’re just in need of more people who can handle your fullness. Let’s build that inner (and outer) intimacy, babe. You’ve got this—and I’ve got you if you want support.