Teach me about Sexting!

Confidence & EmpowermentSex & RelationshipsSexual Wellness

Jul 24

A confident woman’s legs in lace lingerie, lying down in a relaxed, sensual pose—capturing self-love, body confidence, and empowered sensuality

Sexting 101: How to Explore Playfully, Confidently & On Your Terms

What is sexting, anyway?

Let’s break it down: Sexting is the blend of “sex” and “texting”, and that can mean anything from flirty messages to steamy pics or voice notes. According to the Oxford Dictionary, it’s any text-based consentual sexual communication, and it can be playful, empowering, and strengthen your relationship.

The key word here? Consent. Sexting should feel good, safe, and fun for everyone involved. You never have to say or send anything that doesn’t feel aligned for you. This is about exploring what turns you on, on your terms.

And if you’re new to it (or texting with a new partner), it’s totally normal for it to feel a little awkward at first. That’s part of the fun.

Why Sexting Can Be Empowering

So, why do people love sexting? Because it’s more than just spicy texts, it’s a confidence booster, a communication tool, and a way to deepen intimacy.

Here’s what it can do for you:

Build sexual confidence
Increase sexual self-esteem
Help you learn what you like (and don’t like)
Give space to express fantasies without pressure
Create stronger emotional & physical connection

As one participant in my sexual agency study said:

“It gets me, because I know they enjoy it... and then it gets me aroused, and I just feel more confident.”

That right there? It’s about turning yourself on, by being turned on and by being seen. It’s the loop of mutual desire and it can feel incredibly empowering.

Sexting for Beginners: Where to Start (And What to Say)

You don’t have to jump straight into “graphic” mode. Start small. Start playful. Start you.

Here’s your sexting confidence checklist:

Ask for consent first
- A simple “Want to try sexting sometime ;)?” is perfect. Or ease in with a flirty text and read their response.
Test the waters
Try compliments, curiosity, or fantasy talk like:
- “I really love when you…”
- “You looked so good in that t-shirt last night.”
- “I had a dream about you last night…”
- “Can I tell you what I’ve been thinking about?”
Try sending (or requesting) a confidence-boosting photo

No pressure. Your comfort is #1. If you do send something, try an outfit that makes you feel powerful, whether it’s lingerie or your favourite tee.

Crop your face if you want extra privacy. Always ask before requesting a photo in return. Respect is important.

Confidence-Boosting Sexts to Send Right Now

Here are some low-pressure openers to help build your sexting confidence:

“I can’t stop thinking about when you…”
“Want to hear a little fantasy I had?”
“What would you do if we were in bed right now?”
“That photo of you in ____… 🔥”
“I really want to…”

Sexting can be a fun space to imagine things you might not do in real life and that’s okay! Exploring fantasy is just that: Exploration.

How to Set Boundaries While Sexting (And Still Keep It Hot)

You never have to continue a conversation that doesn’t feel good. Full stop.

Here are a few ways to practice boundaries:

Use messaging apps that feel safe (not your work email, please).
Set clear agreements about privacy and photo sharing.
Take note of how you feel during and after—does it build you up?

If it doesn't feel good, you’re allowed to pause or stop altogether. Sexting is only empowering when it’s for you, not at the expense of you.

Ready to Own It? Here’s Your Next Step

Sexting, like anything, has a learning curve. You might feel silly or unsure the first few times and that’s totally okay. Confidence comes from showing up anyway and making space for play.

If you’re feeling the pull to explore more of your sensual self but something’s still holding you back? Let’s work through that together.